i'll give you my heart
by kat3.alwaysxox
Summary: JONAS. Because on Thursday nights, she’s just Macy and he’s just Nick. They’re heartbroken&lonely&arebarleyholdingthepiecestogether. But only on Thursdays. NickMacy. Nacy.


i'llgiveyoumy_heart_

a nacy story

"Because on Thursday nights, she's just Macy and he's just Nick. They're heartbroken&lonely&_arebarleyholding_thepiecestogether. But only on Thursdays."

For my lovely beta, Lori (ride2night), and one of my dear friends, Nikki (dreamin. paradise).

A huge thanks to both of you.

(note at bottom)

* * *

i. It starts in October of sophomore year. All the leaves are changing and the sunset makes her face glow, even with the hot tears trailing down her cheeks. Nick doesn't understand why  
she's crying, because she's the one breaking up with him, and he's the one heartbroken. He just nods and let's her out the door, before clomping up the stairs to his bed, ignoring his  
brothers' '_I told you so's'_. He decides he can't get heartbroken again if he just doesn't let anyone into his heart. He thinks it's a good plan.

ii. Macy's a dreamer, and she knows it. Her favorite dream is the one which flashes in front of her eyes whenever she sees Joe. To her, Joe equals everything perfect, much like her  
perfect dream that consists of three dark haired children, with unnatural singing and athletic abilities, running around in the hot summer sun. There are two boys and a little girl, and  
the little girl stops running with her brothers to come over to the deck so she can drink some lemonade. She turns and looks at the woman sitting there, and goes 'Mama, how did you  
and daddy meet?' Her mother sighs, smiling, and says, 'That's a funny story, you see for the longest time your daddy was in love with Aunt Stella…'

_Stella._

Whenever Macy has this dream, she's always very careful not to shift her view slightly to the right, because if she did she would see her blond best friend, and realize her dream isn't  
allowed, because Stella beat her to it.

iii. It happened in late November. Nick's sitting eating his tuna sandwich during lunch, and Stella comes up in with flushed cheeks, sitting down next to him in a huff, complaining about  
some fabric that had been back ordered or something like that; he can't seem to pay attention to the one-sided conversation. It could be the sunlight hitting her hair, or her laughter  
that echoes through the room when Joe trips over his own feet, but somehow he realizes that he's in love with Stella Malone. He doesn't even know why, but he thinks it has  
something to do with the fact that she's like that Barbie doll that everyone wants for Christmas (in technical terms, because there's no way in the hell that he would _ever_ ask for  
something as lame as a Barbie for Christmas). It's blonde&peppy&perfect&beautiful&_makeseverythingseemokifyou_justgetthedoll. By the end of the period he realizes that he can't have her because his brother already got the part of Ken. But, he decides, if it keeps him from heartbreak, he'll just admire her from afar.

iv. Macy isn't stupid. Actually, she's quite smart (except for english&spanish&math&science&_shereallycouldn'tcare_lessaboutthose). But when it comes to people, she's a total expert. She  
realizes that Joe and Stella are, like kind of, sort of, totally, _madly_ in love with each other. She just chooses to ignore it, because it's easier that way.

v. He honestly feels like the fifth wheel in their little group. With Joe and Stella's 'not-a-relationship relationship' and Macy and Kevin's friendship-pact, he's just kind of there. Like a  
spare tire. They come to him when they need him, and then he's shoved back into the trunk, waiting to be found again. Not that he always minds it, because quite honestly, as much  
as he loves his brothers, Joe can be obnoxious, and Kevin (poor, naïve Kevin) is a plain idiot half the time. Stella is- Well that problem has already been identified. And Macy? Don't get  
his started. She's like some hyper-active humming bird on crack, and half the time she makes him want to light himself on fire, or tear out his ear drums. So he doesn't always mind  
being the spare tire, although sometimes it's rather lonely.

vi. One day, Macy steps out of her dreamland long enough to realize while she's staring at Joe, Joe's staring at Stella, who is staring at the ground, but only until Joe turns to look at  
Kevin, who in fact is staring at whatever bird/human/animal/alien is passing by, in which she seizes the brief opportunity to steal a look at Joe, and while all this is taking place, Nick is  
leaning against a wall watching the whole scene, paying special attention to Stella. Macy decides that's the last time she'll ever leave dreamland, because now she's stuck in some  
sort-of, not quite love-square, and she really needs to do something about it.

vii. Nick is a little scared when Macy corners him in-between calculus and history. Sure, she's all innocent and perky and harmless and stuff, but the way she's holding that set of bow and  
arrows, and _vibrating_ like she's a humming bird on crack _and_ jacked up on caffeine, it's so _freakin'_ scary and for a minute Nick thinks about running. But, before he gets a chance, she  
takes a big breath and starts what he realizes is going to be an extremely long speech. "Ok Mister-Nick-of-Jonas, listen hear and listen good. I noticed something earlier, and I'm going  
to set things straight, ok? Look, I understand if you have a slight infatuation with Stella, because she's that bubbly, blonde persona, with big doe-eyes, and immaculate skin, and a  
wonderful sense of style, and a melodic laugh, and a glittering smile, and that 'I-can-do-it' attitude, with a slight clinginess way about her.."

She trails off mumbling incoherent things, and Nick cocks an eyebrow trying to refrain from looking at his watch, and asking her for the point of this conversation. Finally, she takes a  
breath and all her words that were crashing together slow down and she starts speaking human again. "I get it; really, she's every guy's dream. But, she belongs to your brother, just  
like he belongs to her, so you have to stay out of their little happy-land, or so help me God, I will…Well, I don't know yet, but it will not be pretty. Understood mister?"

viii. Macy can barely blink before Nick bursts out laughing. She assumes that he's trying to grasp her words and begins to laugh too, because a. his laugh is infectious, and b. it must be  
his way of dealing with a rejection that will never even get a chance to be something more.

ix. A couple of days later, Nick decides Macy is (in a totally strange, nonsensical way) right, and that he should probably stop sneaking looks at Stella, or at least be more careful when he  
does sneak looks at Stella. He evaluates the group and finds Joe not-so-subtly staring at Stella, and Stella secretly (read: clearly) looking at Joe, and Kevin watching some ladybug on  
a flower or some other girly-shit, and Macy practically drooling over Joe. He wouldn't completely notice the longing-look she's sending unless he realized it's the same look he  
sometimes still shoots Stella when she isn't looking, because she's too busy smiling&laughing&_beingthemostbeautifulgirl_onearth.

His first thought when he sees her is _hypocrite_, because, really? Corner him with a crazy look in her eye and arrows, only to turn around and do the same thing she accused him of?  
His second thought is jealousy. Not because he likes Macy or any crazy thing like that, because she's _Macy_ and that's just- No. With a capital 'N'. She's a complete loon, and he rather  
smash his head in with his 1960 Custom Gibson Les Paul than ever, _ever _have romantic thoughts about her. Ever. But, his brother gets the girl again, and he's left standing in the cold.  
That's why he begins to stare at Macy. And he doesn't stare at her in the totally love-sick, longing way like he use to, and occasionally still does, for Stella, and he doesn't stare like so  
psycho-serial-killer-stalker, but he stares at her like an observer, because he kind of finds her fascinating, in a small, tiny way.

ix. Three days later before homeroom, Macy pries her eyes off the laughing Joe and Stella long enough to connect eyes with Nick. He has that look on his face that matches hers, and she  
can tell his stomach his swirling with emotions by the way his fists are clenched. His eyes remain connected with hers for a little, before they turn to the laughing couple, and then turn  
back to her. It happens under a span of two minutes, but suddenly Macy's world is put on a little axis, and she feels stripped because he _knows_. It isn't until 3rd period math class,  
when their eyes connect again and he nods that she feels better, because she realizes that he doesn't just know, he _understands_.

x. It doesn't take one, brief look in the eyes to make Nick think that Macy Misa is actually a sort-of normal human. She still talkswaytoomuch&actstoointense&_smilesallthe_Goddamntime.  
But, he starts to realize that maybe; just _maybe_, Macy isn't quite as bad as she seems at first. That maybe; just _maybe_, Macy is just a little misunderstood. He shakes his head quickly  
and decides to blame his thoughts on lack of sleep.

xi. Macy likes smiling. She likes the fact that it makes the world a little brighter, and someone a little happier. She doesn't notice that her smile is starting to falter more and more until  
Stella asks her what's wrong. Macy just cocks her head, smiles, and pretends that she has no idea what Stella is talking about. It's easier that way.

xii. Nick notices little things while he's observing Macy (just so he doesn't, you know, stare at Stella). He notices that she walks in a straight line that's slightly diagonal, and that she  
always finishes her drink before she eats her protein bar, and that her smile is only getting smaller and smaller as the days go on. He really wishes that he didn't notice that last part,  
because as much as he hates to admit it, he kind of, sort of, maybe loves her smile, because it gives him a little bit of hope and happiness. He's found her smile is just about the only  
thing that makes her an _ok girl_. He still thinks she's a little bit crazy, but he kind of, sort of, maybe misses her smile. Just a little.

xiii. There's a big winter dance that all five of them decide to go to as a group (even though Joe clearly matched his tie to Stella's dress and the flowers in her hair and on her wrist  
matched the ones in his suit jacket pocket). Macy watches Joe and Stella dance the whole night, and during some random slow song from the 90s, they kiss. Everyone around them  
_awws_ and Stella's face just blushes slightly. Macy's heartbroken, disappointed, upset, and jealous, but the worst part is that one emotion was missing from the mix: surprise. It was  
entirely, completely so expected to her, that it hurt a little, because even though shewasn'tsurprised&sheknewtheylovedeachother&thatshe'dalwaysbesecondbest&_thatJoewould_never  
everloveher, the kiss kind of sealed the deal, and made everything a little bit more real and final. _So this is heartbreak_. She thinks. Tangypunch&orchidflowers&ayellowdress&_brokendreams  
of_whatwillneverbe. Macy's first instinct is to run to the door, and make a quick and quiet escape before the tears come, but, right before making her way to the door, she looks over to Nick who is standing against the wall. He gives her a small, understanding (failed attempt to be called a) smile, which she doesn't even return before slipping out an emergency exit in the back of the gym, and into an empty hallway.

xiv. As soon as Macy leaves, Nick grabs his suit jacket off the nearby chair to go after her. Before exiting, he takes one more look at his brother with Stella, and really wishes he didn't,  
because he gets that nauseated feeling all over again (and he starts to wonder if this is heartbreak, because if it is it's a lot different than any other heartbreak he's felt before). He  
walks out into the hallway, and sees Macy's silhouette sitting on the stairs. He gets closer, leaning against the banister, watching her while she throws her heels to the side and lets  
her hair down. It's kind of cold, and he sees goose bumps on her arms, so, as the gentleman he was raised to be, he tosses his jacket towards her, which she wraps around her  
shoulders, allowing it to engulf her figure. The faint sound of music and laughter is filling the air, and after a few minutes of feeling like he's suffocating, he's had enough.

"Wanna get out of here?" He asks her taking out his car keys from his pocket, thanking God that they drove two cars there. She just shrugs, and he guesses that means okay. He's  
not exactly fluent in her language yet, even though he's been observing her for weeks, because every time he thinks he's about to figure her out, there's some sort of piece missing.  
Before he knows it, he's driving to his house, with her riding shot gun, and it's so quiet that it unnerves him, because seriously, what the _hell_? She's always talking, and it seems so  
unnatural that she's not. He doesn't hear her crying, but when they stop at a red light, her face is glowing slightly and he sees a trail of mascara, so he takes it she was crying. By the  
time they get to the firehouse, Nick is so done with the silence that he sits a minute before cutting the engine off. Once they both stop staring out the windshield, he gets out and  
opens her door for her.

"Thanks." She mumbles, before she climbs out and walks up to the front door, swinging it open. He follows quickly behind. His dad looks up from the book he was reading upon their  
entrance.

"Hey guys, how was the dance?" He just shrugs as the older man looks at his watch. "It's only 9:30. Aren't you guys home a little-" His dad stops short, noticing the trails of make up  
across the young girl's cheeks and his son's slight frown.

"I'm gonna take Macy upstairs," is the only spoken response given. His dad just nods slightly, raising an eyebrow, but trusting his son enough to take the young crying girl away. Nick  
follows closely behind Macy, going up to the bedroom he shares with his brother. As Macy sits down on his bed numbly, he decides there is no way he's leaving her alone tonight, so  
he goes to his drawers and pulls out a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. He hands them to her, and she turns the corners of her mouth up slightly, as if she was trying to smile.

xvi. "I'll call your mom and tell her everyone's staying here tonight." Macy just nods and waits for him to leave the room before she changes. She kind of hates herself right now, and the  
guilt of wanting something that will never be hers. She pulls back the covers of Nick's bed, and promptly falls asleep, telling herself that she can worry about it in the morning.

xvii. Nick wakes up to the smell of burning waffles and his brothers bickering. He gets up off the floor, and notices Macy still tucked safely in his bed. He stretches, and makes his way to  
the kitchen, greeted by a "Good morning, sunshine! Aren't you just a peach?" from Kevin and a "Can you give us a warning next time you decide to sleep on the floor? I almost  
stepped on your head." from Joe. Deciding to ignore Kevin's strange, supposedly sarcastic comment, he just nods in acknowledgement towards Joe, and decides if they're not going  
to question him, then he won't bring it up. Besides, Joe is probably still high off of his Stella-loving last night, and Kevin, well, like he has anything intelligent to say about any of it. So,  
he just grabs a piece of toast before retreating upstairs. Macy is awake by the time he gets back to his room. Her face is puffy, her eyes are red, and, honestly, he had never seen  
such a pitiful sight in all his life. Their eyes connect as she gathers her clothes off the floor. Her eyes say it all: thankyou&i'msorry&_let'sneverevertalkaboutthis_everagain. He just nods  
and watches her leave.

xviii. Days pass slowly, soon enough Christmas has come and gone, and another New Years has been spent alone. Macy comes into school, thinking that maybe, just maybe, things might  
be different. That the night that has been haunting her has faded from everyone else's memories. But, low and behold, there are the fantastic four. Kevin is still staring into the  
distance, and Nick is still watching everything from a slight distance, but Joe and Stella are standingcloser&laughing&sometimestheirfingertipstouch&_ifMacydidn'tknow_shemightnotofeven  
noticed. But she knows, and notices, and puts on a smile, taking her place standing across from Joe, right next to Kevin, a little in front of Nick. The only difference is she doesn't dream as much as she just stares.

xix. It's February now, and by 3rd period, almost the whole student body knows, so it's only natural that Nick has heard the whole story multiple times before it becomes the lunch time  
discussion.

"Did you guys hear?" Stella says in her sing-song voice, with a glint in her eye and a smile playing her lips. Nick doesn't hear the rest of what she's saying because he's too busy  
watching her eyes changing shades with her words and her animated hand signals.

"And Macy was just being a little immature-"

" Nick? Nick!" He snaps out of his daze suddenly when his name is called.

"Huh?"

"You ok? You went all dream-land on us." Joe waves his hand in front of his brother's face for emphasis, but it's quickly swatted away.

"Ugh. I'm fine, just a little tired." Nick decides he really needs to do something about this staring problem.

"Well, now that Nick's back in the world of the living, where was I before I was so rudely interrupted?" Stella gives a pointed look at Joe, before placing a quick kiss on his pouting lips.  
The whole scene made Nick feel a little bit sick. "Anyway! Macy was being a little immature, so I persuaded her to take the chance with Van Dyke, I mean; it's not every day someone  
asks her out. She's great, but sometimes too intense I guess, I don't know. So anyway, she's going out with him now. Isn't it great? I think it'd be really good for her. I mean- Joe!  
Stop it! Could you please act like a human being for like two minutes?"

Nick doesn't care about anything said in that conversation, but he rather die than see any more Joe and Stella love, so he leaves the room, and spends the rest of the period writing  
songs about heartbreak. Because Stella is slowly breaking him, he's sure of it. That is, if he had a heart to break.

xx. One day, when Macy walks into the school holding Van Dyke's hand, her heart stops in her chest, because Joe is standing across the hall, and is looking at her. And ohmiGod, it's  
amazing, because he's sending this little look, and for a minute, it's almost like he's jealous! And now he's sending what are _practically_ daggers at Van Dyke. Her breath catches, and it  
takes her a while to remember how to walk, but it's the most wonderful feeling in the world, because if he is jealous, it means that Joe might like_like her_, and wow.

xxi. Nick sees the whole scene. Actually, almost everyone does, because it's not really hard to miss when it takes place in the middle of the hallway right in between 1st and 2nd period.  
He doesn't know what happens at the very beginning, but he hears a shriek and turns around and standing there with Van Dyke is… _Stella?_

"I cannot believe you!"

"What's to believe, baby?"

"You just kissed me!" _Slap._ "I have a boyfriend! And you have a girlfriend! Who happens to be my best friend!" _Stomp on foot._ "Macy!" _Slap._

"Please, I'm not into Macy! But, you're into me. I can tell." _Slap._

"And what possibly gave you that idea?! I just- Wait, why'd you ask Macy out then?"

"I was going to ask you out, but she was standing there, and you thought I was talking to her, and- I don't like Macy. I like you, Stella. You're pretty and smart and not Macy."

"So, you don't like Macy?"

"Hell no! Why would I be into her? She struck me out, for God's sake. She's like a super-freak! All competitive and- dude, I have to date a girl." Ouch.

"What?" Van Dyke's, as well as about everyone else's, head whips around. "Super-freak? Over-competitive? Is that what you think of me?"

"Macy- Look, it's just-"

"No, I get it. Who would want _plain-old-Macy_, when they could have _beautiful-Barbie-Stella_?" Gasp!&_queue_exit_._

"Barbie?!" Stella stands there, jaw slacked unable to believe her best friend's statement, as Joe comes over and comforts her, leaving beating up Van Dyke for a later date. Van Dyke  
just exits the scene, while the rest of the student body goes back to normal, some laughing, agreeing with Van Dyke, others shaking their heads, feeling bad for both the girls.

Nick wanted to go up to Stella, and feel bad for her, telling her Macy probably didn't mean it. But instead, Nick shakes his head, and goes after Macy, because she really is the victim.

xxii. Macy spends two periods in the third floor, girl's bathroom, lookinginthemirror&crying&throwingup&_wishingshecould_justbepretty. She knew she wasn't beautiful, and that she was a  
tad bit competitive, but a _super-freak_? She didn't care she was dumped, or publically humiliated, or that her 'best friend' may never speak to her again. (She didn't really like Van Dyke,  
she had been humiliated before, and she knew Stella would get over it.) But she was compared to Stella, _again_. And she lost, _again_. Macy didn't like to lose. Especially in things she  
didn't even want to compete in. But somehow she's ended up in this endless popularity contest with her best friend, and everyone knows she's never going to come out on top.

It's almost the end of the day, probably around 7th period if she's counted the bell ringing correctly, and she's running laps around the gymnasium, whispering incoherent words to  
herself (bepretty&bethin&_be_better). She doesn't see or hear him come up, but she feels his strong, calloused hand grasp her arm suddenly. It's the only time she's stopped running  
since 4th period, and she feels obligated to keep going, because she needs to bepretty&bethin&_be_better, so she just shrugs the hand off and keep going, her muscles aching; her  
lungs giving in. It doesn't take long for him to catch up to her. Her speed has been rapidly decreasing. He grabs her arm pulling her in front of himself, looking her in the eyes.

"Don't Run." She's not fluent in his language yet. After stalking and studying him endlessly for her fansite, she still doesn't quite understand, there's always a missing piece. All she  
knows, from the few encounters she's had with him, is he doesn't talk much, but you have to listen carefully when he does, because it always means something more. So, when she's  
looking in his eyes, she just sighs, because she knows that when he says 'don't run', it's not meant in the harsh way he says it. She knows it means more.

(_Don't run anymore, you're going to hurt yourself. Just stop. You can't run from your problems. It'll be ok. Don't cry._)

xxiii. Silently, the fearsome five starts referring to everything as 'before the incident' and 'after the incident'. 'After the incident' it takes two weeks for Van Dyke's black eye to heal, four  
days for Stella to 'forgive' Macy, and about five and a half hours for Nick to go from observing Macy to looking out for Macy (he says it in reverse order, because that's how  
unimportant him 'looking out for Macy' is). He does this in secret of course. They are almost never seen together nor do they talk to each other (unless it's as the infamous five, in  
which 3/5ths of the group just act like 'the incident' never even happened). Somewhere in between looking out for Macy and having nothing to do on a Tuesday night, he ends up at  
her basketball game. He sits on the very top step of the bleachers, his Horace Mantis Academy baseball hat concealing his curly hair. He watches in amazement as she dribbles the  
ball up and down the court, and decides if he had a heart he might be falling a little bit for her. Well, not her as in _normalMacy_ her, but as in _athleteMacy_ her. _AthleteMacy_ has this big  
smile on her face, and her cheeks are flushed, and her hair is wild, and he's never seen someone look more alive in his life. Maybe _normalMacy_ is annoying, but _athleteMacy_ is pretty  
kick-ass, and it gets her smiling again, which is secretly a major plus in his book.

xxiv. It's Thursday evening, the only evening Macy doesn't have some practice, activity or club going on, and she's running laps around the frozen field like she does every Thursday.  
Thursdays are her favorite days. Thursday helps her keep a somewhat normalcy in her life. As normal as she could be. She's on her seventh lap when she hears a loud bang and an  
'omfh!'. She looks over towards the sound, and sees a fallen figure on the metal bleachers. Cutting across the field quickly, she ran up to the bleachers, and watched as the tall  
adolescent boy stood, brushing himself off. He turned around, and Macy found herself face-to-face with…

"Nick? What are you doing here?"

He just shrugs. (_I could ask you the same thing._)

"I run laps on Thursday nights, to relieve stress and all. You know. I need some normalcy. "

He nods, holding out his sweatshirt. (_Yeah, I understand. Are you cold? It's cold out._)

"Thanks." She takes the sweatshirt, slipping it on, not realizing how cold it really was. They sit down on the bleachers in silence, staring out at the field and setting sun, even though  
it's only about 5 o'clock.

"It's big on you." (_You're losing weight._) The comment comes from nowhere, and catches her completely off-guard.

"Yeah, well so was the suit jacket." She retorts defensively, turning her head up towards the sky. She can feel his eyes burning into her skull, and she starts to feel guilty. (_You know  
what I mean._) "You are bigger than me, you know, 'cause you're a guy." She laughs a little at her extremely unsmooth attempt of a recovery. Soon, he laughs too, and they sit there  
for another 20 minutes, watching the sun sink completely beyond their line of sight, the moon and stars taking its place.

"We should probably go. They turn the sprinklers on soon, and your family will be wondering where you are." She leaves out her family, and by the look on his face, she starts to  
wonder if she should have just left it at the sprinkler excuse.

"Yeah." He pauses for a minute and sighs. "It's nice out here." (_It's really nice out here; I see why you like it. You just kind of forget the world.)_

"Every Thursday!" She sighs kind of dreamily and hears the bleachers creek behind her. He stretches his arms back over his head, before extending a hand towards her, helping her  
up.

"Well, now we should actually go." She hands him back his sweatshirt, and he nods.

"Bye." (_See you around, Macy._) He quickly makes his way down the bleacher steps, taking out his car keys from his jacket pocket. Macy pretends that she doesn't see the small smile  
that tugs his lips as he turns back to wave just as the sprinklers turn on. She sits there for a little while longer before heading home.

xxv. He pretends not to notice the small smile playing her lips when he shows up next Thursday. He watches her run laps for almost an hour before she comes over and watches the  
sunset with him. They sit there in silence and then he leaves right as the sprinklers are turning on. It's kind of strange to him that by the third time they do this, it feels almost normal.

xxvi. They're not friends. He's made that quite clear, and Macy doesn't question it. Nothing really changes after their Thursday night encounters. She's still superfreakMacy and he's still  
rockstarNick. The only difference is, now they have a shared secret. Because on Thursday nights, she's just Macy and he's just Nick. They're heartbroken&lonely&_arebarleyholding_the  
piecestogether.

But only on Thursdays.

xxvii. Nick starts spending more time thinking about Macy then he'd like to be. In between secretly watching her games, their Thursday night encounters, and all five of them hanging out,  
Nick starts to wonder about her. Like if she likes certain foods, or what's her favorite movie, or even what she'd think about a new song he wrote. He's walking through the hall one  
day, trying to shake the thoughts, and he sees Macy standing there listening to Stella. She looks up just as he's walking by and they're eyes connect, and he realizes that  
everything is changing. He sort of doesn't mind, and he wishes it could scare him a little more than it does.

xxviii. Somewhere in between one breath to the next, Macy starts seeing all the Lucas brothers as who they really are. KevinOf!JONAS! is actually Kevin Lucas, a sweet, but extremely  
stupid, older-brother type figure, who just wants love. JoeOf!JONAS! is actually Joe Lucas, a slightly cocky, but adorable, best-friend type (since when was he not her crush?), who  
loves his blonde, best friend. NickOf!Jonas! is actually Nick Lucas. She figured that one out when she figured out that he was in love with Stella. That doesn't mean she's figured him  
out.

xxix. It's soon March, and they're sitting outside on the bleachers again. Nick doesn't bring his jacket anymore, but he still brings his sweatshirt so Macy can sit on it to protect her from  
the cold bleachers. He's deep in thought, and all of a sudden Macy just starts smiling. He can't explain hisheartbeatingfaster&whyhemisseditsomuch&whyhelikesit&_whyheaskswhyshe's  
smilingbecausehe's_certainlynotcomplaining.

"I saw the sunset and it made me smile." He cocks an eyebrow because she sees the sunset every Thursday. She notices, so explains in a little more depth. "There're flowers over  
there growing, and there was a blue sky today. I realized I can't change anything, so I might as well smile. No need to look or be upset when you can't do anything about it." He just  
shrugs, because he knows she's right, even though he'd never just smile.

The sunsets and he stands up to go. She stands up too, and hands him back his sweatshirt. He's already halfway across the field when her voice echoes across the empty land.

"Besides, it looks like you could use a smile."

He waits until he's in his car to let the comment sink in, and smile in return.

xxx. By April, almost everything is back to normal. Macy is eating a little more, Nick isn't looking at Stella as much, and the fearsome five are hanging out on weekends again. Nick still  
watches Macy, and they still meet on Thursdays, but everything else beyond that is normal.

It starts like this: the two girls come over to the firehouse one Saturday night to play board games with the boys. After much discussion, they finally agree on Monopoly.

It ends like this: "Stop cheating! I don't know whose mistake it was to trust YOU as banker, but it was an idiotic move! Do you always have to win, all the TIME?" Macy yells, dumping  
the fake money all over the game board.

"Why are you so OVERCOMPETITVE? You're such a SUPER-FREAK!" Nick tosses the board in the floor. Macy's eyes start to cloud over as she storms out of the firehouse, slamming the  
door behind her, and Nick turns in a huff and stomps up the stairs to the boys bedroom. The other two brothers sit there in shock, not exactly sure what just happened, and Stella  
makes a mental note to never let two overly-competitive people play Monopoly again.

xxxi. Nick feels bad after he calls her a super-freak, and realizes he really can't lose her. As much as he hates to admit it, she is sort of his friend, and losing the only true friend he's ever  
really had makes his stomach hurt. He lies on his bed that night and he can't think straight. He feelsnumb&hisstomachisswirling&he'snothungrybydinnertime&_hecan'tevenget_onedamn  
songoutofit.

xxxii. They avoid each other all week, so Macy isn't surprised when he doesn't show up on Thursday. She is surprised however when she sees a plate of cookies and a CD sitting on the  
bleachers. She walks up to them and notices the cookies have 'I'm Sorry' iced in blue icing on the top. She picks up the CD, and scrawled on the top is 'Forgive me?'. Macy doesn't  
feel like running laps today, so she runs home instead. Opening the door quietly, she makes sure no one is home. She's not in the mood for her crying mother and drunken father  
today. Relieved when no one acknowledges her entrance, she goes up to her bed room, putting the CD in her stereo. The first song reverberates through the four walls of her  
bedroom, and she furrows her brow. It isn't until the chorus of the song that she realizes that this must be his version of an apology.

"_She's a super-freak, super-freak, she's super-freaky!"_

(She laughs a little, because she forgave him as soon as she saw the cookies.)

xxxiii. Nick expects a note on his locker the next day written in loopy letters saying that she forgives him and how she's sorry. He doesn't expect the CD with it. During his next free period,  
when he's sitting out in the atrium, he takes out his laptop, puts in the CD, and soon enough 'We Are the Champions' is blaring through the speakers. Nick smiles a little as he plugs  
in his headphones. The next song is a hard, punk rock song and Nick cocks an eyebrow until it gets to the chorus, which makes him laugh.

"You're a sore loser! You're a sore loser!"

(He pretends not to notice that he has never smiled or laughed as much as he has since she's come around.)

xxxiv. Soon May is almost over, and June is fast approaching. Kevin is graduating in less than a month, but is taking a year off so the boys can continue to work on the band. Sometimes  
Macy finds herself talking and spending time with Nick when it's not Thursday and when they're not in a group. She finds herself figuring him out little by little. One thing that  
doesn't take her long to realize is he doesn't know how to relax. So she feels, since she thinks they're sort-of friends now, that she needs to get him to relax. It's Wednesday and  
she rushes out of her 8th period class extra quickly so she can be waiting by his car. When Nick gets there, before he even has a chance to question her, she grabs his arm.

"Come with me."

"Ok?" (Where are we going?)

"It's a surprise!"

He just smiles a little at her enthusiasm, and it makes her feel special. She drags him past the high school, down the street, and up to the elementary school playground. There are  
trees shading the ground and the grass is slightly wet. Macy sighs in a dreamy way and sits down, pulling him down with him.

"What are we doing?"

Macy just leans back on her hands and says simply: "Relaxing."

xxxv. Next Wednesday, Nick grabs Macy's arm and drags her down the street.

"Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise!"

She just laughs at his lopsided grin. He takes her to a little ice cream shop with homemade ice cream, and he can practically see her taste buds tingling.

"Pick a flavor." He gets strawberry and mint chocolate chip, and she gets chocolate with rainbow sprinkles. The rest of the afternoon is spent sitting on a park bench outside. She  
teases him about his disgusting combination and he licks her ice cream once when she's not looking. It's about 7 when they walk back to his car and he drives her to her street (she  
says she doesn't want to be dropped off at her house because she likes the walk).

"Thanks, Nick."

"Anytime, Macy." It's one of the first times he's really addressed her by her name and he hopes she realizes it means that they're friends. He thinks she does by the way she smiles.  
The way she smiles is her normal Macy smile. All teeth are showing and her carmex coated, cherry-lemon glossed lips are practically reaching her eyes, sticking to a fallen bit of her  
coconut scented hair. It shouldn't look any different, but it does. He particularly loves this smile, because it's for him, and it makes it even more special.

xxxvi. Six days after the ice cream incident, Joe and Stella break-up. It's a mutual break-up, and Macy is waiting for butterfliestofillherstomach&herhearttobeatoutofcontrol&_purechildlike  
blissto_fillherbody at the thought that Joe _could_ be hers. None of the feelings ever come, and she spends the next week staring at Joe wondering why she doesn't feel the way she's suppose to.

xxxvii. Nick knows he's over Stella by the time she and Joe break-up. He could've sworn Macy was over Joe as well. After all, she was eating&laughing&_smiling_again. But as soon as the  
break-up occurs, he notices that Macy starts to stare at Joe, and that weird feeling fills takes over his body again(hefeelsnumb&hisstomachisswirling&he'snothungrybylunchtime&_hecan't  
evenget_onedamnsongoutofit).

Except this time, it's almost _worse_.

(And it feels like he's losing Macy all over again.)

xxxviii. Macy pretends it doesn't hurt when Nick doesn't show up on Wednesday or Thursday of that week. She knows JONAS has a big charity event coming up this weekend, so he's  
probably just preparing for that.

xxxix. Any _guy _could tell you that Ashley Buehler was one of the hottest girls at Horace Mantis Academy. _Anyone_ with eyes could see that Ashley Buehler was one of the sluttiest girls at  
Horace Mantis Academy. And anyone with eyes and a brain could clearly see that she had a soft spot for a particular singing group. Especially for Nick. Nick wasaguy&hadeyes&_hadavery  
_smartbrain, and he decided to use it to his advantage. That Friday, the same week that Stella and Joe decided they should just be best friends, being the same week that Macy started eye-sexing his brother, Nick decided that he deserved to be happy, and it had been way to long since he kissed someone (he is a guy, can't blame him). So, after 6th period, he walks up and asks Ashley out. She smiles (with her overly pink and shiny, strawberry glossed lips), giggles (in a shrill voice), and throws her arms around his neck, her honey blonde (raspberry scented) hair tickling his nose.

"Of course I'll go out with you, Nicky!"

Nick would have corrected her, saying his name is Nick, but he isn't listening by that point. He took the hug as a yes. Now he's paying more attention to the brunette who just left  
the room.

xl. "Yeah, ok! Go right AHEAD! Favor Joe why don't you?!"

"I don't see why you're so worked up about it! It WASN'T EVEN YOUR TURN!"

"But it's not fair TO STELLA! You can't just DO THAT!"

"OH. MY. GOD. NICK! It's JUST a game!"

"No it's not! It's the PRINCIPLE of it! YOU CHEAT!"

"Well, I'm sorry! I didn't know THERE WERE RULES AGAINST THAT!" Macy storms out of the firehouse, Nick stomps up to the boys' room, Joe wonders how he got dragged into the  
argument, Kevin thinks that maybe their argument wasn't just about the game, and Stella adds Risk to her mental note of games never to play with Nick and Macy.

xli. This time it isn't notes, cookies, or mix CDs that gets them to apologize to each other. It's been three days since summer started (since the fight) and Nick isn't in a good mood. He's  
laying up in his bed, with that awful nauseated feeling again, wanting to punch something because he's extremely aggravated at Ashley and the fact she keeps calling him, asking,  
with her whiny voice, 'Please come over Nickyyy!'. He's throwing a baseball up at the ceiling, playing catch with himself, when his phone starts to vibrate again. Since she's not getting  
the message that he's clearly sending by ignoring her, he picks up the phone.

"Ashley! Stop calling! I'm not coming over!" But, instead of her whining voice, he's greeted by sniffles. Furrowing his brow, he sighs into the phone. "Ashley?"

"Nick, can you come over?" It's the 17th time he's heard that question today, except this time he's not angry, because this time it's not Ashley.

"I'll be there in 7."

(It would have been 5, but he decides he's not going to give her the satisfaction of seeing him in the same pajamas he was in three days ago.)

xlii. Macy has stopped crying by the time Nick gets there. All her tears have dried up, but her make-up is running down her swollen face and her breathing is uneven. She hears knocking  
at the door, but she doesn't want to get up, so she just texts him saying that the door is open.

(She chuckles a little when she hears the distant tune of 'Super Freak' coming from his phone.)

xliii. "Mace?" Nick calls through the house, and he's greeted by a quiet 'in here'.

He walks in the direction of the sound, soon finding himself in the doorway of a light blue room. The first thing he notices is the small figure huddled on top of the bed in the corner.  
The second thing he notices is the countless pictures of him and his brothers lining the walls. Saying that it freaks him out a little is an understatement, because he practically just  
walked into a _goddamned shrine_. It makes him feel a little better when he sees that she's started to rip some of the pictures off one of the walls. Shaking his head, he walks towards  
the girl, and eases on to the bed next to her, wrapping his arms around her.

"Mace?" He starts to worry because she's not talking and last time she didn't talk it was when he drove her home from the winter formal back in December, and that seems so long  
ago, it's hard to believe it actually happened all together.

"He left." When she finally speaks, he doesn't understand. The only thing running through his mind is that if it's his idiotic, older brother, he's going to kill him with his own bare  
hands, because nobody hurts _his_ Macy.

(He doesn't notice that he referred to Macy as _his _Macy, and when he finally does realize, it gives him this kind of pride so he decides to do it more often.)

xliv. Macy has mastered the feeling of anticipation. She has every step down from the beginning, when it's easy, to the end, when she barely has hope left. She anticipates her dad's  
return. She prepares herself with whatshe'llsay&whatshe'lldo&_anyotherpossiblethings_inbetween. It's this whole cycle of loving and leaving, and she's kind of gotten use to it by now.

xlv. Nick sits with her and explains to her that it's not her fault.

xlvi. It takes her two weeks to realize her dad isn't coming back this time.

xlvii. Nick sits with her and explains to her that it's still not her fault, and when she says she feels guilty and starts to cry, Nick cringes because: a. he doesn't understand, so he can't  
make it better and b. he can't deal with hormones and crying girls.

xlviii. Macy feels guilty because she doesn't want her dad to come back. But when Nick asks her why, she just says it's because she didn't get to say goodbye.

xlix. Nick doesn't believe her for a minute.

l. JONAS goes on a mini-tour, and Macy tags along with Stella. Just because she's not a _fan girl_, doesn't mean she's not a _fan_. Since it's only a three-week tour, the boys and girls share  
one bus with Mr. Lucas (Mrs. Lucas and Frankie sat this tour out). There are two bathrooms and six beds, but that's not to say it's not extremely cramped.

li. It takes Nick four hours into the tour to realize Macy doesn't like Joe anymore. It makes him feel extremely happy, and he doesn't know why.

lii. It takes Macy overhearing two phone conversations to realize that Nick must have the worst possible taste in girls because Ashley is a complete bitch.

(Then she remembers that he use to like Stella, and she realizes he just has a thing for girls he can never fully have.)

(It makes her wish she could tell him that she's all his, but she doesn't even know where that urge comes from.)

liii. (Three nights into tour, the boys don't have a concert.)

"You have THE WORST OBSERVATION I've EVER SEEN in MY. ENTIRE. LIFE." Macy's cards fly towards Nick's head, as she slams her fists on the table.

"WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME?! It's your fault! NO ONE ELSE WANTED TO DO TEAMS!"

Macy storms off to her bunk and Nick stomps off to his.

"Do they always do this?" The other boys just nod, answering Mr. Lucas's question, while Stella adds UNO to her mental list.

Their options for recreational, indoor activities are slowly diminishing.

liv. This time no apologies are spoken. Everyone is eating breakfast on the bus the next morning and Macy calls it even when Nick gives her a piece of bacon and half his cookie.

lv. Nick can sense something is up, but he agrees to play late night 'Truth or Dare' anyway. Everyone has gone home from the concert, and the five of them are sitting on the arena stage  
in Texas, the summer breeze ruffling their hair. After Joe runs across stage in his underwear, Stella admits that she's gone further than second base (Joe just blushed), and Kevin  
screamed his love for otters (oddly enough, he wasn't even dared to), it was finally Nick's turn. Stella got this little evil look in her eye, and sent this weird little wink at Joe, and Nick  
sort of feels like he's in seventh grade all over again (yeah, Stella got the boys to do all sorts of girly things). Nick picks truth, and Stella smiles.

"I dare you to kiss Macy." Macy's eyes widen, and Nick just bites his lip.

"Uh, Stella, I picked truth."

"I know." Stella just winks at Joe again, and Joe takes the wink as a way to enter the conversation (Nick really wishes Joe would just keep his big mouth shut).

"You two are just chick-chick-chickennnn!!! BWU-ACKKK! BWUACKKK!" Before long, Joe is running around the stage like the idiot that he is, and Stella just whacks his leg.

"We're not chicken!" A new voice enters the conversation, and Nick gulps a little, because he knows that tone. A determined Macy is a winning Macy, and winning Macy is extremely  
competitive. That's why, to his surprise, minutes passed in silence, without any movement from the group, and more importantly, no movement from Macy or her _lips_. Eventually, Stella  
just rolls her eyes.

"Ok, sure you're not chicken." Before long, Stella is standing and walking back to the bus. "That plan was a bust. Come one guys, we need to get on the road soon."

The three of them leave and before he can blink, Macy is kneeling in front of him, whispering: "I'm going to kiss you now."

He doesn't know why, it could be thefacthehateshisgirlfriend&thecherrycarmexlemonlipgloss&thefactthatit'smacymacymacy&_itssososo_wrong, but that kiss is probably the best kiss of  
his life, and he wouldn't trade it for anything.

(Somewhere in between the kiss, one heart beat to the next, he fell for her, just a little bit.)

lvi. Nothing changes after the kiss really. Macy is still Macy. Nick is still Nick. It's just another secret adding to their closet of skeletons.

lvii. "I SAW YOU WITH HIM!"

"SO WHAT?!"

"YOU'RE FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY!"

"HE'S YOUR OPENING ACT!"

"IT DOESN'T MATTER! YOU'RE _OUR_ NUMBER ONE FAN, AND HIS ALBUM IS STILL COMPETING WITH OURS!"

"HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT THAT NOT EVERYTHING IS A COMPETITION?"

"COMING FROM YOU? THAT'S RICH! EVERYTHING'S A COMPETITION!"

Macy storms off to her bunk and Nick stomps over to his. Joe's glad it's Twister, so there's nothing to throw, Kevin's happy that they finally spoke in real terms instead of accusing each  
other of cheating at a game, and Stella is smirking proudly at the fact she told them a board game wasn't a good idea, so she can't be blamed.

lviii. It's the last day of summer, and they have a big barbecue at the firehouse just because. Joe and Stella are dating again, Kevin is flirting with some new girl who moved in down the  
street, Macy is standing with Jack (also known as opening act), and Nick has never felt so alone in a group of people. He's so lonely, he's starting to regret dumping Ashley. Actually,  
that's a lie. But, he's sitting at dinner, and out of the corner of his eye he sees macy&jack&they'reactingallcoupley&nickcan'tstandit&_hestartstofeellike_he'ssuffocating, so he excuses  
himself from dinner and tries to write a song. Only he can't.

He really hates this feeling.

lix. Macy and Jack break-up two weeks into school. It's a mutual thing because while she's in New Jersey, he's, well, everywhere, and the 'long distance won't work' (translated to: I can't  
kiss you, I don't want you). The worst part is, she's completely ok with it, and she's even happy. Stella tells her that she's not supposed to feel that way after a break-up. She tells  
Stella that she doesn't care.

lx. Nick decides he's had it, and that he wants things back to normal. The Wednesday after Macy's break-up, he waits for her after her soccer tryouts. Then, without a word, they walk  
side by side to get ice cream, and then to the play ground. They sit in silence, but it's the most comfortable silence Nick has ever heard.

lxi. It takes about another two weeks for things to get back to normal. It's now the first Thursday of October. Macy is running laps, and stops half-a-lap early so she can sit down on Nick's  
awaiting sweatshirt. He hands her a cookie with blue icing, and she thanks him. She decides that day that she's feeling adventurous so she scrapes the icing off her cookie, placing it  
in one hand, and then eats the cookie whole. Then she eats the icing. Well, she eats most of the icing. She pouts and dumps the rest in Nick's hair when he starts humming 'Super  
Freak'.

lxii. It starts in October of Junior Year. All the leaves are changing, the sunset makes her face glow, and the way she's pouting her lips makes it so hard for Nick not to kiss her. The sun  
has almost set, and he gives into the pressure, kissing her softly. The kiss lasts for a good 5 minutes, and, if possible, it's even better then the last time he kissed her.

(He tries not to think that it might be because she got practice with Jack.)

lxiii. Macy thinks kissing Nick tastes like icing, cherries, Orbit gum, and love. She tells him. Except she leaves out the love part, because she doesn't want to scare him away.

lxiv. Nick decides he's going to let Macy into his heart. It's a risk, but he decides getting heartbroken by Macy can't be much worse than losing Macy.

(He never has to find out that it's the same thing.)

lxv. Macy realizes that their relationship is built of cookies, secrets, unspoken conversations, heartbreak, running laps, an old Rick James song, and fighting over board games. It's the  
most imperfect thing she's ever heard of, but she wouldn't have it any other way.

* * *

Well, this is my first story I've written in a while. For those of you who know me, I've decided to come back to fanfiction after some personal problems. For those of you who don't know me, you never knew I was gone, so just ignore that. I think my writing has matured some, but I guess you are really the judge of that. I hope you liked this. It started as angst, but had a happy ending. I apologize for the length, but I hope it was worth it. Wow, I'll stop babbling, and wrap this up. Review please? The button is right there. Constructive criticism welcome :)


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